14 Jul 2011, 1:37am
your beluga best friend


Dear Beluga Best Friend,

How do I swim past (pardon the pun) compulsive overeating alongside feelings of shame, guilt, regret, and self-loathing?

P.S. Please don’t ever go extinct — you make my day 🙂

Hi anon. I wish I had an easy answer for you — or a delicious formula you could mix up and drink (or pour over your head or whatever) and then !POOF! these issues are no longer a part of you.

As it is, sometimes you can only tackle them minute by minute. When you feel yourself sliding into compulsive behaviors, you can try to pause, even for another ten seconds, and tell yourself I CAN STOP. Even if you don’t stop, that time, it’s okay, because every time you pause and say I CAN STOP then you’re doing better than you were.

And when you feel the shame crashing over you, you can go, NO, SHAME, I DON’T DESERVE YOU. Because you don’t. You really, really don’t. And you hold the shame off for that minute, and when that minute’s past, you try to hold it off for a minute more.

The amazing thing is, you’re doing this already. I can tell because you wrote this question. Many days just interrupting the behavior or the shame may not seem like enough; it may not seem like much at all. But hey, while the force of a single snowflake seems minimal, the cumulative impact of an avalanche of snowflakes can easily crush whatever is in their path. So all your efforts? They add up. Even on days when you’re feeling sad or desperate or like it’ll never end.

You’re already awesome for keeping on. For doing what you do to get through each day. You’ll get there. It’s working. I promise.

Love, Your Beluga Best Friend

Effervescent BBF sketch by http://antoniatsangaris.imagekind.com/. Want to contribute some art to this project? Send your own beluga drawings to lesley at twowholecakes dot com.

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